Broken Dreams
by Kerryfan
Summary: This is my first story so please RR: Its finally fin.
1. Default Chapter

Archive:Sure just ask first.  
  
Disclaimer:I do not own "ER" or it characters they are the property of Jhon Wells,Michael Crichton,etc.  
  
  
  
Broken Dreams  
  
It had been a long day and Kerry was ready to go home. She was physically and emotionally tired. She now knew how her patients felt when they suffered a miscarriage. As she walked into the lounge she noticed Abby sitting at the table drinking coffee. "Hi Abby" Kerry said tiredly. "Hi Kerry you going home" she asked. "Yeah finally" she said. "You gonna be okay" she asked with worry in her voice. She knew it couldn't have been easy on her to have lost the baby. She saw so many miscarriages as an OB Nurse to know that they were not easy on your body or heart. "Yeah Sandy should be home by now" she said. At least I hope she is, she thought. It wasn't going to be easy to tell Sandy she lost the baby. They wanted a baby so bad. "How you gonna tell her" Abby knew she was being nosy but she was worried about Kerry. "I don't know yet" she replied. I have to get out of here before I loss it in front of Abby she thought to herself. "I have to go Abby' she said quickly. "Bye" Abby said. Kerry turned to go and as she was going out the door she turned to Abby and said "Abby." "Yeah" she asked. "Thanks" Kerry said with tears in her eyes. "yore welcome Kerry" she replied. She had noticed the tears in Kerry's eyes but didn't say anything. Kerry turned and quickly walked out of the ER. 


	2. Telling Sandy

Chapter two: Telling Sandy  
  
Kerry drove slowly home,in fact to slow as the other drivers were honking their horns at her but she was to tired and emotional to care. She didn't want anything else to happen to her having a miscarriage was enough to last her a lifetime. She just wanted to get home safely and be with Sandy, although she didn't know how this was going to effect Sandy. Kerry pulled up to the town house she and Sandy bought shortly after they found out Kerry was pregnant. It was perfect, it was two stories high with six rooms,three baths and big yard, to build a family in. What a waist she thought to her self. She knew she should get out of the car but she was scared to tell sandy that she lost the baby. Scared that Sandy would blame her for working to hard. She couldn't stand it any more she just broke down and cried not caring that she was still siting in her car and that it was very cold out side. She didn't think it was possible for her to cry anymore considering the amount of tears she shed when she let down her defenses and allowed her self to cry in front of her patient. Which she normally wouldn't do but she didn't care at that moment. She was crying so hard that she didn't notice when Sandy came running out of the house after she had noticed Kerry crying from the living window. She didn't notice until Sandy pulled open the car door and put her strong arms around her and just held her tight till she stopped crying. As soon as Kerry stopped crying she asked "hey what's wrong?" Kerry looked up at Sandy with scared eyes and cried out "I lost the baby!" "OMG Kerry are you okay,what happened?" Sandy asked choking back tears. "I'm fine, I was working on a patient and I started having cramps and spotting." "I did an ultra sound and couldn't find a heart beat." Kerry said tersely"I'm so sorry Sandy." "Hey it okay"Sandy said. "No it's not"Kerry cried. Sandy just pulled her close again and they just sat there,forgetting about the coldness of the night,and cried together. 


	3. The Fight

Chapter three: The Fight  
  
A soon as they both stopped crying Sandy said "come on its cold, lets go inside." "OK" Kerry replied as Sandy helped her out of the car. "You hungry? I made super" Sandy said taking Kerry's coat and putting it, along with hers, on the coat rack. Sandy walked into the kitchen as Kerry said quietly "I'm not hungry." Sandy came out of the kitchen and sat down by Kerry on the couch "you need to eat," Sandy said looking at her sadly "you need to build you strength back up." "Fine" Kerry said getting irritated, she didn't really have an apatite but if it would get Sandy off her back, than she would eat. As Kerry and Sandy went into the kitchen Sandy told Kerry "go sit down, i've got it." "I can get my own food" she said as she irritated while walking to the stove "i'm not helpless you know." "Kerry you just had a miscarriage, you need to rest" Sandy said with worry in her voice and etched across her face. Kerry spun around suddenly startling Sandy "Do you have MD behind your name Sandy?" Kerry asked getting madder by the minute. She didn't no why she was getting mad at her she was just concerned. "Well no, but..." I didn't think so I can take care of myself" Kerry said while taking her food to the table and sitting down she said "lets just eat." "Fine" Sandy said with sadness in her voice. She didn't understand why Kerry was getting so mad she just wanted to help. After all it was her baby to she thought while she sat down at the table. They sat in silence for awhile both lost in there own thoughts until Sandy asked quietly "why didn't you call me?' "You were at work" she replied in the same quit tone. "I still would have liked to been there for you" she replied. "Why you couldn't have done any thing to help" she said. "I could have comforted you"she replied. "I couldn't have had you hovering over me while I was tending to my patients. "You mean to tell me you worked the whole time while you were having a miscarriage" She half yelled at Kerry. "I was fine except while I had cramps. I couldn't just lie in a hospital bed while the ER fell apart" she yelled back. "They could have managed with out you. You know sometimes I think you care more dammed ER more than about me" she screamed at Kerry. This was the worst fight they ever had and this was a time they should be supporting each other. "That's not true I care about you more than anything in my life" she said more calmly "its just..." "Just what?" Sandy interrupted her. "Hun, is it just that you're still ashamed for you colleagues to see us together" she screamed. "No, that's not it"Kerry replied. "Then what" Sandy asked impatiently. "I didn't want the whole hospital to find out. And..." Kerry replied hesitantly "I was afraid you would blame me for working to hard,OK" she cried as she limped out of the house grabbing her coat and slamming the door shut. "Kerry" Sandy called out but it was to late, Kerry was already out the door. "DAMMIT" Sandy Screamed as she picked up her wine glass and through it the wall. She watched as it shattered on the floor. 


	4. Memories and Flashbacks

A/N: Some of the quotes I got from weavered.com and some I made up. It wont say whose saying which because it just fragments of their conversation.  
  
Chapter Four: Memories And Flashbacks  
As soon as Sandy realized what she had done she sank to the floor and wept. As she cried memories from the first time she saw Kerry to the fight they just had flooded her mind.  
  
*******MEMORIES******* "I'm an emergency physician from County". "Good for you."  
  
"Hey, I told you not to do that." "Just turn the damn power off."  
  
"Hey I told you to stay away from this damn vehicle." "Shes bleeding out."  
  
"Hey Dr. Weaver, right?" "Sandy Lopez"  
  
"Sandy" "Hey still got time for a wound check?"  
  
"You should have someone remove the stitches in four days." "I know where to find you."  
  
"Listen, Sandy..." "Do you want to do something?" "Scuse me?" "Uh, something, you know, something." "Something?" "You Know, lunch or a movie or ice fishing..." "Like go out?" "Yeah, I mean, unless I'm totally, uh, off base here." "No you're on bass."  
  
"Hey! You know im not good at this." "What follow up?" "Want to have lunch?" "No sushi." "What?" "I don't like sushi." "Ok, any thing you want." "I'm going to remember you said that!"  
  
"Ahhh, I don't like Indian food anyway." "Well... why didn't you say somethin?" "I just did." "Kind of a pain in the ass, you know that?" "Some say."  
  
"Ok, lets just forget about lookin for a descent place here. Why don't we go home and order something in?" "I like a take-charge kind of girl!" "My apartment"  
  
"Hey, hey, what's wrong?" "Uh, nothing."  
  
"Ho, ho, wait a minute. You're not out! Huh! Who are you hiding from?" "I'm NOT hiding!" "Wait a minute; then what the heck was that? You don't want your friends to see us together?" "They're not my friends." "How do you think that makes me feel?"  
  
"YOU came on to me! You're not out!" "I am not out at work."  
  
"Sandy..." "I'm sorry... I don't got time for this!"  
  
"You're gonna keep playing this game," "I'm not playing any game." "You know, forget it." "Come on" "Forget it." "Please wait!" "No. Goodbye." "You know..." "Goodbye Dr. Weaver."  
  
"Who are you?" "We've got a call Kerry." "I mean who the hell are you?" "I live my life without apology" "Yeah, that's right, YOUR life. You make choices for YOUR life. You don't make choices for mine."  
  
"SO YOU DID THIS OUT OF SPITE TO TEACH ME SOME KIND OF LESSON?" "I DID YOU A HUGE FAVOR. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET!"  
  
"You were right. You did do me a favor."  
  
"I'm pregnant!" "What?" "I'm pregnant" "I love you." "I love you too."  
  
"This is the perfect house Sandy." "Yeah, perfect for a family."  
  
"I lost the baby!"  
  
"You care more about that damned ER!" "That's not true!"  
  
"Damit!"  
  
******* End Memories*******  
  
The memories came so fast that they startled her. She barely had time to concentrate on one particular memory. Sandy wiped her eyes and got up and cleaned up the glass she broke. Once that was done,deciding that the kitchen could wait till tomorrow to be cleaned up, she went up stairs and got ready for bed. Her last thought, before she closed her eyes, was that she might lose Kerry too.  
  
Kerry had heard the sound of something shattering along with Sandy cursing. She thought about going back into the house but decided that she needed time to think. She walked to a nearby park and collapsed on a bench. They had picked this neighborhood because it was nice and clean. The house was nice and big and there was a park nearby that they could take the baby to play. Now they wouldn't be able to, thought Kerry. She couldn't take it any more and she subcomed to tears once more. As she sat there and cried she thought about the relationship she had with Sandy. It had taken her awhile to realize and except who and what she was. Sandy was like no other partner Kerry had ever had. She thought about the day she had meet Sandy. She was a fearless fire fighter who wasn't ashamed of who and what she was . Unlike Kerry who was afraid of who she was and because of that she almost lost her.  
  
***** Flashback*****  
  
"Ho, ho, wait a minute. You're not out! "I am not out at work." "Well, you need to be!" "Sandy..." "I'm sorry... I don't got time for this!"  
  
***** End Flashback*****  
  
But in the end she didn't lose her and it made her realize just how precious love is. She didn't see that with Kim and she lost her. But she vowed not to lose Sandy. She thought about the day she was outed by her coworkers. About the humiliation and fear she felt.  
  
***** Flashback*****  
  
"So that's it?" "What?" "You're gonna keep playing this game," "I'm not playing any game."  
  
"Why are you avoiding?" "I'm.I'm not .look...hey can't you tell I'm just a little swamped?" "You know, forget it." "Come on" "Forget it." "Please wait!" "No. Goodbye." "You know..." "Goodbye Dr. Weaver." "What do you need, Malik?" "Nothing."  
  
"Who are you?" "We've got a call Kerry." "I mean who the hell are you?" "I live my life without apology" "Yeah, that's right, YOUR life. You make choices for YOUR life. You don't make choices for mine."  
  
"SO YOU DID THIS OUT OF SPITE TO TEACH ME SOME KIND OF LESSON?" "I DID YOU A HUGE FAVOR. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW IT YET!"  
  
*****End Flashback*****  
  
And she did, Kerry thought. She had stopped crying altogether by now. She thought about the day she told Sandy she was pregnant. Sandy had been very happy which had only made her more happy and excited. She also thought about the day they had bought there house. .  
  
*****Flashback*****  
  
"Sandy, im pregnant!" "What?" "Im pregnant!" "OMG! Kerry im so happy!" "Me too!" "I love you so much Kerry" "I love you too, Sandy"  
  
"OMG, Sandy this house is perfect!" "Yeah, it's amassing!" "Its in a good neighborhood and has a park around the corner were we the baby to play." "It's perfect to build a family in."  
  
***** End Flashback*****  
  
She thought about her first ultrasound and haw happy she was.  
  
***** Flashback*****  
  
"There it is" "I can see his heartbeat." "You can tell it's a boy?" "Because I can't." "No, it's just a... figure of speech." "Are you hoping for a boy?" "Not particularly. I mean, a boy would be nice, but I... don't care."  
  
*****End Flashback*****  
  
Those were such good memories. It saddened Kerry to think that she may never have good memories like that with Sandy ever again. She thought about her miscarriage but quickly pushed it out of her mind. It was to painful of a memory. She thought about the fight that she and Sandy just had.  
  
*****Flashback*****  
  
"You know sometimes I think you care more dammed ER more than about me"  
  
"That's not true I care about you more than anything in my life" "its just..."  
  
"Just what?" "Hun, is it just that you're still ashamed for you colleagues to see us together"  
  
"I was afraid you would blame me for working to hard,OK"  
  
"Kerry" "DAMMIT"  
  
*****End Flashback*****  
  
Those words had stung her just as much as she knew that her words had stung Sandy. She knew in her heart that they weren't true. But she had to figure out away to convince Sandy that they weren't true too. She was exhausted so she headed home not knowing what she would find. 


	5. Making Up Ain't Hard To Do

Sorry it took me so long to update.  
  
Chapter five: Making Up Ain't Hard To Do  
  
"Sandy" Kerry called out as she opened the door and put her coat on the coat rack. She didn't get a response so she tried again, "Sandy" Kerry once again only got silence. She walked past the kitchen and thought, it will just have to wait till tomorrow. She walked upstairs and into the bathroom to get ready for bed. Once she was done getting ready for bed she walked into their bedroom and saw that Sandy was asleep so she quietly walked to the bed and laid down. The movement woke Sandy. "Kerry" Sandy called quietly. "Yeah" Kerry replied quietly. "Where were you" Sandy asked. "I took a walk to the park" Kerry replied. "Oh" Sandy sighed. "Sandy" Kerry said turning to face Sandy. "Yeah" Sandy said looking into Kerry's eyes. "I'm so sorry" She said, tears streaming down her face, "I'm really sorry." "I am too" Sandy told her while wiping the tears of Kerry's face. "I don't no what came over me Sandy" Kerry told her. "Kerry, you just went through a miscarriage while running a busy ER and you were exhausted. I shouldn't have faut with you" Sandy replied. "I shouldn't have yelled at you. You were only trying to help" Kerry told her looking away. Sandy gently took hold of Kerry chin and pulled her face towards her "Kerry look at me." She demanded "It's no big deal. All couples fight, lets just forget about it." "OK" Kerry said she was willing to forget about the whole fight. "Are we going to be alright?" she asked. "Why wouldn't we be?" Sandy asked her. "I don't know" she replied looking away again. I lost the baby that's why, she thought to herself. "If you mean 'cause you lost the baby..." she said and when Kerry shook her head she told her, "we can try again or we can adopt." "You mean that" Kerry asked her. "Yes I do, with all my heart" she told Kerry. Kerry kissed Sandy then. "I love you so much" she told her between kisses. "I love you too" Sandy said Kissing her back passionately. "I need you" Kerry whispered while snuggling closer to Sandy. "I need you too" she replied wrapping her arms around Kerry. They made love and then fell asleep in each others arms.  
  
Kerry woke up and turned over in the bed, only to find the other side was empty. She got up and used the bathroom. When she was finished she put on a robe and went down stairs to the kitchen, where a delicious aroma was coming from. "Mm something smells good!" Kerry said wrapping her arms around Sandy. "Good morning" Sandy said turning around and kissing Kerry. "You hungry?" "Yes" Kerry replied kissing Sandy back. "Good, 'cause its done" Sandy said turning back to the food. Sandy put two plates on the table than went to get the jug Orange Juice. "Mm, Omelets and Fruit my, favorite breakfast" Kerry said digging in. Sandy sat down and started eating while laughing at Kerry. "What? What's so funny" Kerry asked with a very confused look on her face. "You! You act like you haven't eaten in a week!" Sandy explained still laughing. "Yeah well I had quiet a work out last night and I'm very hungry!" she replied winking at Sandy. Sandy just looked at her with a smirk. "And I have to go into work soon" Kerry told her. "I thought you were off today" Sandy asked pouting. "I am I just have some paper work that I forgot in my locker that's due tomorrow. I figured if I got it done early we can spend the rest of the day together" Kerry said winking at her. "Sounds nice" Sandy said smirking.  
  
As soon as Kerry was done eating she went upstairs to get dressed. And Sandy cleaned up the kitchen. Kerry came down the stairs just as Sandy was finishing up the kitchen. "You leaving?" Sandy asked her. "Yeah" Kerry said coming up to Sandy and kissing her passionately. "If you kiss me like that one more time you won't be going anywhere" Sandy said playfully while wrapping her arms around Kerry's shoulders. Kerry hugged her back and with one last kiss she unwillingly pulled away from Sandy and said "bye." "Bye, I love you"Sandy said. "I love you too" Kerry said walking to the door. She pulled on her coat and walked to her car.  
  
When she got the ER Jerry greeted her. "Hey Dr. Weaver, I thought you were off today" He said. "Hi Jerry. I just came to pick up some paper work" she told him walking into the lounge. She was just shutting her locker when Abby came in. "Hey Dr. Weaver, aren't you off today" she asked her. "Yeah. I just had some paper work that I had to pick up. I was just leaving" she told her. "Bye Abby" Kerry said walking to the door. "Bye Kerry" she said. "Oh how did Sandy take the news?" "She was disappointed and sad" she told her. "We also had a fight." "Oh. I'm sorry" Abby said looking at Kerry sadly. "It's OK" Kerry said "we made up." She told her smirking and with a wink, Kerry walked out of the lounge.  
  
******The End****** 


End file.
